May 12

I fucking give up. That's just all there is to it. I don't know why I even expect anything to be different - it never is and it fucking never will be. I just end up disappointed :-/ So, today was Mother's Day, right? The only acknowledgement at all was TH texting me from work asking what I wanted that he could stop on the way home and get. I'm like, fucking really? And that's the thing - I don't want anything. I would just like for someone to show that I'm worth more thought than a fucking last minute "Hey, I'll stop at Target on my way home from work." I don't get it. It's always like this though. Everybody else's fucking birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, fucking everything, I try to make it a big deal. Thoughtful presents, awesome cakes or brownies, everything. I can't even remember the last time they so much as made me a plain fucking birthday cake from a mix. I shouldn't even care any more. I don't want to care any more but it fucking hurts. And it fucking pisses me off that I do. So just fuck it.

And you know what? As long as I'm already pissed off, why not. WHY THE FUCKING FUCK AM I THE ONE IN CHARGE OF JUST ABOUT FUCKING EVERYTHING AT HOME?!?!?!?!?!?!? I mean, shit, people! I get home and fucking clean shit, get TK off to school, and TH can sleep til he wakes up. So then he's got like 5 hours at home, quiet, while TK is at school. He goes to work (for 4 1/2 hours), and comes home to a cooked fucking dinner. He can stay up as late as he wants because he doesn't have to worry about getting up early. Yeah he works 12 hours on Saturdays and Sundays but according to him, unless there's some event or something going on it's pretty fucking slow. Hell he has time to watch 4 movies on Sundays. And of course I'm home with TK all weekend. And any time TK's buddy spends the night I get to deal with that. He mows the yard once a week, cooks once a week, and will sometimes clean up if I have cooked. That's pretty much it, though. I get stuck with fucking everything else. I couldn't even tell you the last time somebody else swept, vacuumed, cleaned litterboxes, or hell even did fucking laundry. Last week I said something about cleaning the litterboxes for 3 fucking days before I gave up and did it. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?????

Oh yeah, I get to do the grocery shopping, too. I guess I'm going to have to suck it up and get out one afternoon and go to Sam's for lettuce, because I've been telling him we need lettuce for a week and a fucking half. They don't open until 7, so I either have to go later in the day or go sit in the parking lot for half an hour one morning. He drives past there on his way to and from work. While they're open >:-( Oh and and and, if we have something that needs to be done, we do it on Wednesdays or Thursdays, because he's off. And I'm always the one losing sleep to do shit. I can't even really just go home in the mornings and play video games or something because there's fucking always somebody there. I never have any quiet time. Like I said, once I go to bed he's got until fucking 1:00 to fuck off and do whatever he wants before he has to go to work. Too bad that never includes cleaning and shit >:-( He's getting really good about getting up just after TK leaves, too.

That's all I've got right now. Everybody can just go take a flying fucking leap. Maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.

Song: Drowning Pool - Bodies. This one is an awesome angry song. Cause fuck it all.

Best thing: Got a bunch of the storage stuff sorted on Saturday.

Worst thing: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Yeah.