I know I've only been taking the new medicine for about a week, but I'm wondering if it's already starting to help. It's supposed to take about 2 weeks to kick in but I had been taking that bottle that I had left over from the last time, and I only ran out of that a few weeks before I went to the doctor. I guess if some of that was still in my system it might not take as long to build back up to the right level? Or maybe it's just psychological. Dunno. Either way, it seems like something different is going on, and that's a good thing.
Nothing really new at the house today. TH went to pick up TK and they went by to check on the kitties. The AC guys were there finishing up the ductwork and all. Tomorrow the inspectors should be out there, and the shingles are supposed to go on! Yeah, it was supposed to rain all day - there was like a 60% chance - and it rained just a little bit overnight and early this morning and that was it. I saw that a few places nearby got something like 3 inches, but not much for here. Right now there's only a 20% chance for tomorrow so they should have no problem doing the shingles. You watch though, tomorrow it will probably fucking pour, just because :-/
I can't believe that, in just about a month or so, we're going to be home! It has just taken so long and been such an ordeal that it seemed like it was never going to happen. I can't even begin to imagine what it's going to be like to have our own house, our own space again. To not have to worry about getting in anybody's way, or making too much noise, or what anybody else is doing. Our own quiet space. We are relatively quiet people. They...are not. Omg, the TV. They'll be downstairs watching TV, and we can be in our bedroom with the door closed and still hear everything that's going on. And it's all like, the trashiest reality shows that you can imagine. ఠ_ఠ I don't get it. And the kitties!!! Back to snuggling with the kitties :-)
Oh yeah, that reminds me. Why do they (society in general) find it perfectly acceptable for people to spend hours every week watching craptastic television, but when someone spends that much time playing video games it's considered a "waste of time"? Apparently as a 33 year old woman, watching Honey Boo Whothefuckever for an hour every day would be fine, but spending that time playing Black Ops makes me weird. Blargever, dude.
...I totally should have been a guy. Sigh.
So, no house pictures today because there was nothing really new going on. I could probably find something interesting to post, but I just don't feel like going through pictures. So how about the note that I wrote up for the doctor last week? I still can't decide if it makse me sound kinda crazy, or it's just silly. Dunno.
I am tired. I don’t sleep enough. I work nights, so sleep is
really just a series of naps between work, classes, kid, and everything else
that needs to be done during the day. When I can sleep more than a few hours at
a time, like on my days off, I dream. I have very vivid, disturbing dreams. The
kind that you wake up from and you’re not sure if you’re really awake, or you
just dreamed that you woke up so that you would stay in the dream and it could
screw with you a little bit longer. The kind that you don’t go back to sleep
after. If I drink enough so that it’s easy to fall asleep I either don’t dream
or I don’t remember them. Either way works, I guess.
I think I probably drink too much. It’s the easiest way to
fall asleep though. I know I drink too much caffeine, because sometimes it’s
the only way to stay awake.
I don’t get any exercise, really. I work a security job
where I sit at a desk checking people in and watching monitors for 8 hours. I’m
the only one there so I really can’t even leave the desk to walk around. When
I’m not at work I’m doing everything else or trying to find time to sleep. Or I
just don’t care. I’ve noticed that “I just don’t care” is something that I say
a lot lately. Sometimes I kinda want to strangle everyone who annoys me, too.
I don’t eat right. A lot of times I don’t even realize that
I’m hungry and then when I am I usually just get whatever. It doesn't help that
we’re staying with family right now, which makes it hard to cook or really keep
anything around other than prepackaged microwaveable stuff.
Our house burned down last year and ever since it’s like I’m
waiting for something else bad to happen. Every time I hear sirens it makes me
nervous. Every time I call or text somebody and they don’t answer right away or
somebody is late coming home, I think something is wrong. I’m tired of pretending
that everything is ok. I’m tired of pretending that I feel…anything, I guess? I
don’t even really enjoy playing video games any more. I love playing video games.
I still have the headaches. They’re not usually too bad,
it’s just that they’re there so often it gets annoying. I guess it’s more like
one constant headache that’s always there and, unless it’s bad, I only notice
it if I pay attention. It’s like, background noise or something. I’ve named it
Fred.
I can’t focus on anything. I can’t concentrate. I’ll sit
down to read a textbook and after an hour I’ll realize that I just read the
same page over and over but I don’t remember any of it.
I know I probably need to be on the meds again. They do seem
to help. It just pisses me off that I have to take them. The last few times, I
would take them until I ran out and then think - I’ll just wait a little while
and see if I do ok without them. But then before I realize it it’s a year later
and I’m back where I was before.
Yeehaw, right?
Ok actually, I lied. This one is just too good not to post. Definitely not one to print out for TK's binder, though :-)
 |
| Describes a lot of the people I deal with, lol. |
Song: The Killers - Somebody Told Me. Another random shuffle today. It's a random kinda day.
Best thing: Quiet video game time.
Worst thing: Dumbass drivers on my way to work tonight. Seriously, it was like I got caught in the traffic headed to the fucking dipshit convention or something.
Okey dokeys then.
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