So I stayed up a little while this morning, playing a little Black Ops 2 and talking to TH. I ate 2 servings of pizza rolls (12) and a few chips. Oh and half a king size Snicker bar. Because CHOCOLATE! Cramps, I has them :-/ Went to bed and actually got about 8 hours of sleep! TH made the Tater Tot Casserole for dinner. The recipe calls for 2 lbs of ground beef, a big can of cream of mushroom soup, a bag of tater tots, and shredded cheese on top. We substitute TVP crumbles for half of the meat, use 98% fat-free cream of mushroom soup, and add a bag of frozen fajita veggies (red and green bell peppers, and onions). Makes it a little healthier. I got a little bit of the casserole and mixed in some stirfry veggies and lettuce. It was really good, and way more filling than just the casserole by itself. I brought a salad, some veggie chips, a yogurt, a banana, and a tangelo to work with me. Yay.
I have been hearing a lot lately about the Paleo diet so I read a little bit about it last night. It sounds like a good idea, but it is kinda restrictive. I don't usually do well when whole categories of foods are off limits. Too, it would be hard to eat that differently than everyone else. I think for now I'll see how it goes doing what I'm doing right now. I've been trying to eat better stuff when I get home in the mornings, for snacks, and here at work. A lot more fruits and veggies, for sure. For dinners I try to make sure that whatever we have is reasonably healthy and add extra veggies to my plate, or maybe do a little substituting (like with the fish). Nothing too obvious or anything. Pizza/beer night stays, though :-)
Oh man. Ok. I weighed myself this morning, for the first time in a long time. 408.2. Typing that almost physically hurts. I've been about the same for the last couple of years, probably. Definitely since the fire, and living with them. On one hand I kinda can't believe that I'm still there but on the other hand I kinda can't believe that I'm only still there. I've been out of touch for a while, even before the fire. I had stopped taking the antidepressant and just didn't give a shit about anything. I didn't do anything to try to lose weight, and I basically ate nothing but crap. A lot of crap. And even as I was doing it, I knew it was bad for me. I just didn't fucking care. I guess it felt like...that was the only thing I had absolute control over. The only thing that I was in charge of - what and how much I ate and drank. Because I was definitely drinking too much there for a while. Right after the fire, when we moved in with them, we had no idea what was going to happen - if we were going to be able to rebuild the house, where we would get the money, where we would live if we couldn't. I felt fucking helpless and it fucking sucked. Man, I wish I had been writing this whole time. That would have been something to read, for sure :-/
Ok so the fact that I didn't actually gain anything despite my best efforts to sabotage myself gives me a little hope. It seems like I used to never have trouble losing weight or staying at a good weight if I actually tried. Of course, that was 15 years and one kid ago :-/ Part of me is afraid that if I actually try, I won't be able to do it and then I'll just be pissed off. Also, in a way it's...easier being this size. Guys (most guys. at least), don't even look at me twice. I like that. I don't want to deal with any more attention than I have to. After what happened when I was younger...well, I kinda figure that if I hadn't met TH when I did I really hadn't planned on even dealing with the whole dating thing again. I don't know if that makes sense or not but that's where I'm going to leave it.
Anyway, no pictures (again) but how about a video of Snipe? I was eating some buffalo flavored cheese puffs and he wanted to try one soooo bad. He wasn't expecting it to bite back, lol.
Song: Rob Zombie - Dragula. I really like this one - nice and angry sounding!
Best thing: The guy at work brought his knives and stuff to show me. Shiiiiiny :-)
Worst thing: The explosion at the fertilizer plant. I just hope it ends up not being as bad as they expect :-/
I guess that's it?
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